Friday, May 11, 2012

Babybat Flashback...a Musing for the Day...

Taken in the Middle-of-Nowhere Alabama, at an Obscure School

Extra points for those who can spot Babybat Me.  If it isn't painfully obvious, I'll give you a hint.  I'm the one wearing a smirk and a tiny cross.  Aahh, memories.  I stumbled across this little gem of a photo while cleaning out my utility closet.  Middle School Yearbooks can come back to haunt you, but I must say, I'm quite fond of this picture.  

It reminds me of my mother.

That entire outfit was a Christmas present from her.   I was fortunate to have had a mother that was supportive of my self expression, and encouraged, rather than stifled, my personal style evolution. 

The long sleeve Calvin Klein black tee, the JNCO striped jeans (ye gods, the JNCO jeans...that is a little painful, though at the time I begged for them), and the tiny cross necklace.

I still have that necklace.  It is beyond precious.  If my house was on fire, that would be one of the items that I would save from the inferno and sustain third-degree burns for. It was part of a rosary passed down in our family.  My mother kept the beads, and had the cross made into a necklace for me.  That way, we could both share our family heirloom.  I miss her, but hidden treasures, like this piece of memorabilia, help me catch a glimpse of her.

I spent most of my adolescence under the radar.  Trying with all my energy to carve out my own path because the alternative of 'normal' was agonizingly mind-numbing.  Along the way, I made my fair share of mistakes, hurt good people, and unfairly judged others.  By the time I got to college, I like to think that I was reasonably balanced out, finally realizing that my Goth tendencies didn't mean that I defined myself with misery, but rather that it was ok that I was a little odd and that I found beauty in darker things.  It meant freedom of expression, however and whenever I chose, and it made me...happy...blissful even

If I could go back and offer advice to little Babybat Me, I would tell her not to change a thing.  Hardships and trials carve a person out.  It is up to the individual to thoughtfully decide what to  fill those spaces with.

Ok, Ok...maybe one little change. 

Don't be so hard headed and listen to Mom more...that woman really knew what she was talking about.

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